Too pretty to be happy

I'm tired. So very tired.

Happiness is eluding me. Maybe I was never meant to be happy. Maybe I am meant to suffer through this life alone, filled with sadness and longing. I'm tired of seeing happy people. They walk around without a care in the world. Me? I walk around faking a smile, begging for the time to come where I go home. This is when I can take the mask off.

When the mask comes off, it's like a bomb explodes within me. The pain is unbearable. I want to scream, break things.....hurt myself. Tears stream down like a river that has exceeded its banks.

All I want is that one person who can climb my walls, rescue me, and give me a reason to not have to put my mask on each day. That one person who won't say "You're too pretty to cry" and instead let me bleed it out.

Does a person like that exist? God, I hope so.